Too often one hears “wives submit” without the responsibility of the husband to love their wives. Women are commanded to respect their husbands and husbands are commanded to love and cherish and to care for and love their wives just as BOTH are to commanded to submit to Messiah G-d! Women are not lesser than men, and both are commanded to submit to the L0rd, so why are we commanded in this manner?

21 Submit to one another in fear of the Messiah. 22 Wives should submit to their husbands as they do to the L-rd; 23 because the husband is head of the wife, just as the Messiah, as head of the Messianic Community, is himself the one who keeps the body safe. 24 Just as the Messianic Community submits to the Messiah, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

32 There is profound truth hidden here, which I say concerns the Messiah and the Messianic Community. 33 However, the text also applies to each of you individually: let each man love his wife as he does himself, and see that the wife respects her husband.

Ephesians 5:21-24 and 5:32-33 CJB

Men so easily understand respect from the perspective of understanding authority. For example; when I was active duty Navy, I found myself in a situation wherein my commander was wrong and I said so. He commanded me to stand at attention and proceeded to yell at me just inches from my face. Was he wrong? Yes, he was but his authority was greater and I submitted to a dressing down without a qualm.

Men understand this type of authority and respect. Women do as well, however women intuitively, intimately understand love. Women are able to live in love more so than men; they don’t have to be commanded to love or cherish their husbands. Men don’t have to be commanded to give respect. G-d, having created our being and nature knows that we have to be commanded as a reminder seemingly counter to what we understand intuitively. Commanded almost as if contrary to our fleshy nature, which indeed it is.

So, G-d’s commands are issued where we exist in the areas of greatest need in marriage! Men are told to love, women are told to respect; both from G-d’s Holy perspective.

Dr. Ramón de Torres

Edited: June 25, 2020